Forging a Japanese Toolbox Maker's Brand Voice
Established over 50 years ago, this Osaka-based Japanese manufacturer is renowned for its premium quality steel toolboxes. Each one is made from a single sheet of steel to make it seamless. Their simple, durable, and aesthetically pleasing designs have won various awards.
Challenges
Despite a solid reputation and loyal customers, they wanted to expand internationally with a bilingual Shopify store. Although achieving some sales, their first attempt was hampered by low-quality English copy that failed to resonate with their target audience due to non-native writing and machine translation.
Solutions
Subcontracting for a Tokyo-based agency, I was brought in to help with translation, localization, and copywriting. After first researching extensively to understand the mindset of their target audience, the following solutions were implemented:
Engaging Content: Product descriptions were carefully crafted in English, using correct terminology and an engaging tone that appealed to the target audience.
Brand Differentiation: A compelling "About Us" page highlighted their unique history and exceptional customer service.
Customer Engagement: Content was set up for social media, email newsletters, and targeted campaigns to help maintain customer relationships.
Copywriting Example
The following excerpt from their About Us page, initially a literal translation from Japanese, was revised to engage better and resonate with the target audience.
Direct Translation
Established over 50 years ago, we were the first company in the world to successfully develop a deep drawing technology to make a seamless steel toolbox from a single sheet of steel. Our products are simple, durable, and rugged yet beautifully designed toolboxes with "Made in Japan" quality, and they have received numerous awards.
Beyond just an "organizer box," our toolboxes have been stored and enfolded in our users' life stories. Starting from a small box crafted with care from Japan, your story will start and grow over the years. We want to be present with your life story and create a rich history together.
The Rewrite
Founded over half a century ago, we pioneered deep drawing technology, crafting the world's first seamless steel toolbox from a single sheet of steel. Our toolboxes combine rugged durability with elegant design, embodying the finest "Made in Japan" quality, and have garnered numerous awards.
More than mere organizers, our toolboxes become integral to their owners' life stories. Crafted with precision in Japan, these small boxes are the starting point of a journey that grows alongside you. We aim to be a part of your life's narrative, helping you build a prosperous and enduring legacy together.
Why it Works
The rewrite is better than the direct translation for several reasons:
Concise and Engaging Opening: The rewrite starts with a powerful opening line that immediately captures the reader's attention. It highlights the company's long history and pioneering achievements succinctly.
Improved Word Choice and Sentence Structure: The rewrite uses more sophisticated and engaging language. For example, "Founded over half a century ago" sounds more eloquent than "Established over 50 years ago." The rewrite also employs parallel structure, such as "combine rugged durability with elegant design," which enhances the flow and readability of the text.
Enhanced Brand Image: The rewrite emphasizes the company's commitment to quality and craftsmanship. Phrases like "crafted with precision in Japan" and "embodying the finest 'Made in Japan' quality" reinforce the brand's reputation for excellence.
Emotional Connection: The rewrite strengthens the emotional connection with the reader. It positions the toolboxes as more than functional objects but as companions in the user's life journey. Building a "rich and enduring legacy together" evokes a sense of nostalgia and partnership between the brand and the customer.
Clearer Message: The rewrite conveys the core message more effectively. It highlights the toolboxes' role in the user's life story and the company's desire to be a part of that narrative. This message is more compelling and memorable than the direct translation.
The rewrite elevates the original text by using more sophisticated language, creating an emotional connection, and conveying the brand's values and aspirations. It transforms a functional description into an engaging and persuasive piece of writing.
The Results
Through carefully crafted content, I highlighted the company's pioneering history, exceptional quality, and commitment to being a part of their customers' life journeys. As this manufacturer expands its reach internationally, the enhanced copy communicates its unique story, making it well-positioned to attract new customers and foster long-lasting relationships.
