Careful Copywriting for Premium Health Supplements
This case study revolves around a health supplements company based in Japan’s northernmost prefecture of Hokkaido and how we helped them transition from an aging website with clunky copy to a modern, thriving, sales-driving platform.
The Initial Challenge
A Tokyo-based agency subcontracted me to work on the English website of a company specializing in high-grade health supplements derived from a particular type of mushroom grown under precise conditions. The client was facing significant challenges with its online presence. Their existing website failed to deliver an excellent user experience or communicate the unique value of its meticulously crafted supplements. The text was a direct Japanese-to-English translation that lacked the nuances and appeal needed to resonate with an international audience, particularly in the United States.
Strategic Overhaul of Website Copy
The primary task was to transform the directly translated content into engaging, persuasive English copy mirrored the brand's voice while appealing to a global audience. This required a deep understanding of the brand's core values and the unique benefits of its products. The copy had to be compelling yet careful, especially since it involved health supplements. Maintaining accuracy without overpromising and navigating the delicate balance between scientific accuracy and consumer-friendly language was crucial.
Below is an excerpt from their About Us page that illustrates how I rewrote the direct translation from Japanese into optimal copy.
Direct Translation
Certified Organic Farm and Factory
Our facility, located in Hokkaido, Japan's northernmost region of unspoiled nature, produces the highest quality reishi mushroom products.
Our farm and factory are JAS-certified organic, ensuring safe and secure cultivation and production.
It starts with the procurement of logs from Hokkaido. The process begins with the procurement of logs from Hokkaido, followed by medium preparation, inoculation, and mycorrhizal cultivation, before moving on to the air-conditioned cultivation of deer horn reishi mushrooms.
The trees are then harvested and dried to be made into Reishi capsules and other products.
At our factory, we handle the entire process from production to management and commercialization.
The Rewrite
Certified Organic Farm-to-Capsule Process
Nestled in the pristine environment of Hokkaido, Japan's northernmost prefecture, our JAS organic-certified farm and factory are dedicated to producing top-quality reishi mushroom products. From procuring local logs to inoculating, cultivating, harvesting, and drying the Deer Horn Reishi, we handle the entire process in-house, ensuring the utmost care and quality. Our state-of-the-art facility oversees the complete journey from raw materials to finished products, such as our premium Reishi capsules, guaranteeing our customers the utmost in safety and quality.
Why It Works Better
The rewrite is more appealing to consumers for several reasons:
Concise and Engaging Language: The rewrite uses more concise and engaging language, making it easier for consumers to understand and stay interested in the content. It avoids repetition and unnecessary details found in the direct translation.
Emphasis on Quality and Care: The rewrite emphasizes the dedication to producing top-quality reishi mushroom products, highlighting the "utmost care and quality" throughout the process. This reassures consumers that they are getting a premium product.
Clear Process Description: The rewrite presents a clear, linear description of the farm-to-capsule process, making it easy for consumers to understand how the product is made. It showcases the company's involvement in every step, from procuring raw materials to creating the final product.
Focus on Consumer Benefits: The rewrite emphasizes the benefits to consumers, such as the "utmost in safety and quality," which directly addresses their concerns and desires when purchasing health products.
Improved Readability: The rewrite has better formatting and structure, with a clear heading and a single, well-organized paragraph. This makes it more visually appealing and easier to read than the direct translation.
Emotional Appeal: The rewrite uses more evocative language, such as "nestled in the pristine environment," which creates a positive emotional response and helps consumers connect with the brand's values and commitment to quality.
Overall, the rewrite effectively communicates the key points while being more engaging, concise, and focused on consumer benefits, making it more appealing to potential customers.
Technical Execution and SEO
Collaborating with the site-building team, we employed Shopify to create a visually appealing, easy-to-navigate, and SEO-optimized website. This included integrating keywords strategically throughout the site to improve search engine rankings and attract more organic traffic.
Expanding the Brand’s Reach
Beyond the website, we extended our copywriting efforts to other channels, such as email newsletters and social media platforms. Each piece of content was crafted to consistently reflect the brand's voice and value proposition, establishing a cohesive brand identity across all customer touchpoints.
Results and Continued Success
The results of our comprehensive copywriting overhaul were immediately evident. The client saw a substantial increase in sales and a significant improvement in the overall brand perception. More importantly, the enhanced content led to a better shopping experience for new and returning customers, increasing customer satisfaction and retention rates.
