Crafting Compelling Ecommerce Copy for Kitchen Knifes
I’ve recently had the privilege of serving two well-established traditional Japanese kitchen knife retailers. Despite their solid reputations and loyal customer bases, they sought to expand their reach and offer their customers the convenience of online shopping.
Challenges
The main challenges faced in these projects included:
Large Product Catalogs: Both retailers had an extensive range of kitchen knives, resulting in a significant amount of content being created and managed.
Language and Terminology: The original product information was in Japanese and utilized specialized vocabulary, requiring careful localization into English while maintaining accuracy and appeal.
Target Audience: The primary target customers were professional chefs who were highly knowledgeable about cooking and knives, necessitating a straightforward approach without relying on hype or superlatives.
Strengths
Although faced with challenges, both retailers possessed strong foundational elements to build upon:
Superior Products: These long-established retailers were renowned for providing top-tier traditional Japanese chef knives.
Solid Ecommerce Platforms: Each retailer opted for a robust ecommerce platform, one using Shopify and the other utilizing Big Commerce. Both platforms were exceptional, and the decision between the two would depend on specific requirements.
Exceptional Photography: Both retailers invested in excellent photography, recognizing the significance of high-quality product images in showcasing the elegance and artistry of their products.
Intriguing Histories: With captivating backgrounds, both retailers had extraordinary narratives that set them apart as unique and engaging entities.
Solutions
To create compelling online experiences for these knife retailers, the following solutions were implemented:
Engaging Content Creation: The product descriptions were carefully crafted in English, using correct terminology and an engaging tone that appealed to the target audience without relying on excessive hype.
Brand Differentiation: To highlight each retailer's unique history and strengths, compelling "About Us" and "Why Us" pages were created, emphasizing their long-standing reputations and exceptional customer service.
Customer Engagement: To maintain customer relationships, the retailers utilized social media platforms like Facebook and Instagram, regular email newsletters, and targeted email sequences.
Copywriting Example
The following is an excerpt from one of the About Us pages. I initially provided a literal translation from the client's original Japanese text. Then, I crafted a revised version tailored to engage and resonate with their target audience.
Direct Translation
One of the special features of our store is that we offer top-quality Japanese kitchen knives at low prices. We are directly owned and operated by the knife manufacturer, where around 20 dedicated blacksmiths produce knives daily. By not going through an intermediate distribution channel, we make it possible for our customers to buy our famous handmade Japanese knives at a competitive price. That is why our customers say that our price-to-quality ratio is high.
The Rewrite
Our store is unique in offering premium Japanese kitchen knives at affordable prices. As a manufacturer-owned and operated business, our 20 skilled blacksmiths craft knives daily. By selling directly to customers, we eliminate middleman costs, enabling you to purchase our renowned handmade Japanese knives at competitive rates. This is why our customers appreciate our exceptional price-to-quality ratio.
Why it Works
The rewrite is better than the direct translation for several reasons:
Conciseness: The rewrite concisely conveys the same information using fewer words. It eliminates redundant phrases and streamlines the message, making it easier to read and understand.
Clarity: The rewrite improves clarity by using more precise language and better sentence structure. For example, "manufacturer-owned and operated business" is more precise than "directly owned and operated by the knife manufacturer."
Fluency: The rewrite reads more smoothly and naturally like it was originally written in English. The direct translation feels a bit choppy and less idiomatic.
Active Voice: The rewrite uses more active voice constructions, which make the writing more engaging and direct. For instance, "our 20 skilled blacksmiths craft knives daily" is more dynamic than "around 20 dedicated blacksmiths produce knives daily."
Customer-Focused Language: The rewrite speaks more directly to the customer, using "you" and emphasizing the benefits to the buyer. This helps create a stronger connection with the reader.
Persuasive Tone: The rewrite is more persuasive and confident while maintaining the core information. Phrases like "unique in offering premium Japanese kitchen knives" and "renowned handmade Japanese knives" make the store's value proposition more compelling.
Overall, the rewrite refines the essence of the original message into a more concise, clear, fluent, and persuasive piece of writing that better engages the target audience.
Results
By implementing these solutions, these traditional Japanese kitchen knife retailers successfully transitioned into the online space, offering their customers the convenience of purchasing authentic, high-quality knives from the comfort of their homes. The retailers continue attracting a broader range of customers, including professional chefs and home cooks seeking the best in Japanese kitchen knives.
