Revamping a Soap Store with Killer Copywriting
As an ecommerce copywriter, I've encountered numerous brands needing help connecting with their target audience and driving sales through their online stores. One such client was a Japanese luxury soap brand aiming to expand its reach to international markets. Despite offering high-quality products, their ecommerce site was plagued with poorly translated, confusing copy that failed to resonate with English-speaking customers.
In this case study, I'll share the copywriting strategies I employed to revamp their online presence and transform it into a persuasive, conversion-driven powerhouse.
The Initial Challenges
Upon analyzing the brand's existing website, several glaring issues became apparent:
Awkward Translations: The original copy had been directly translated from Japanese, resulting in awkward phrasing, grammatical errors, and a general lack of clarity.
Lack of Emotional Connection: The content focused solely on product features without establishing an emotional bond with potential customers or conveying the brand's story and philosophy.
Poor Navigation and Structure: The website's navigation menus were cluttered and confusing, making it difficult for visitors to navigate and seamlessly complete their buyer's journey.
The Copywriting Overhaul
To address these challenges, I implemented a comprehensive copywriting strategy that touched upon various aspects of the website and online presence.
Rewriting the About Us Page: The existing About Us page was a wordy mess that failed to communicate the brand's essence. I rewrote it from scratch, starting with the brand's origin story and weaving in its philosophy, mission, vision, and values. I also highlighted their commitment to sustainability, quality craftsmanship, and unique Japanese roots — all tailored to resonate with an international audience.
Optimizing Product Descriptions: The original product descriptions suffered from awkward translations and repetitive language. I rewrote them to be concise, clear, and emotionally appealing, focusing on each product's benefits and unique selling points.
Streamlining Navigation: To improve the user experience, I restructured the website's navigation menus, removing clutter and ensuring that essential pages were easily accessible to first-time visitors. This involved moving non-essential items to the footer menu and categorizing content logically.
Enhancing On-Site SEO: I optimized title tags and meta descriptions for improved search engine visibility, ensuring the website's content was discoverable and appealing to potential customers.
Refining the Buyer's Guide and FAQ: The existing Buyer's Guide and FAQ pages could have been better written and more precise. I rewrote them using natural language and clear, concise explanations, making it easier for customers to find the needed information.
Example
Below is a brief excerpt from their About Us page. The direct translation from Japanese is overly wordy and awkward, so I rewrote it.
Direct Translation
We have eliminated the weaknesses of traditional soaps and prioritized gentleness and ease of use.
We do not use synthetic surfactants, preservatives, additives, or petroleum-derived ingredients. This reduces skin irritation and lets you use our products with peace of mind. Our soaps provide hydration and demonstrate excellent cleansing power while being gentle on the skin. They effectively remove even natural makeup. Additionally, we have focused on the properties of water and researched to achieve a balanced formulation with oils. We also pay attention to preventing soap residue and the issue of soap crumbling, addressing the weaknesses of traditional soaps.
The Rewrite
Gentle Innovation
We've reimagined traditional soap, removing harsh chemicals to offer a kinder, more effective cleansing experience — our formula combats soap scum and crumbling, making your skincare routine a breeze.
The Logic
The rewritten version is more effective in appealing to native English speakers for several reasons:
Concise and Engaging Headline: "Gentle Innovation" is a short, catchy phrase that immediately captures the reader's attention and conveys the main idea of the product's unique selling point.
Simplified Language: The rewritten version uses simpler, more straightforward language that is easier for native English speakers to understand and relate to. It avoids technical terms and focuses on the benefits of the product.
Active Voice: The rewritten version uses active voice ("We've reimagined," "our formula combats"), which makes the message more engaging and dynamic. Active voice is generally preferred in English writing as it is more direct and powerful.
Emphasis on Benefits: The rewritten version focuses on the key benefits of the product, such as gentleness, effectiveness, and convenience. It highlights how the product improves the user's skincare routine, making it more appealing to the target audience.
Conversational Tone: The rewritten version is more conversational and friendly, using phrases like "making your skincare routine a breeze." This approach helps establish a connection with the reader and makes the product more approachable.
Avoids Unnecessary Details: The rewritten version omits some of the technical details mentioned in the original, such as the specific ingredients not used in the product. Focusing on the essential information and benefits makes the message more impactful and memorable.
The Results
The copywriting overhaul yielded remarkable results for the luxury soap brand. The revamped website now offers English-speaking visitors a seamless, engaging experience, effectively communicating the brand's story, philosophy, and commitment to quality. The improved navigation and structure make it easier for customers to navigate and complete their purchases. At the same time, the optimized product descriptions and on-site SEO have enhanced the website's visibility and appeal.
Perhaps most importantly, the new copy establishes an emotional connection with potential customers, fostering trust and desire for the brand's luxurious offerings. By addressing the initial challenges and implementing a comprehensive copywriting strategy, this D2C luxury soap brand is now well-positioned to captivate and convert international customers through its ecommerce store.
